Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
