Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
