i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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