you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
