i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
