I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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