sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
