This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
