I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
