It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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