I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
A+ Viking dick
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
