can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
