You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
