I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
