Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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