Buhtt sex?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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