Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
