Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
