Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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