I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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