This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
