i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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