I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize