I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
