we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
