just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just want to make out with him forever
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
