Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
