You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
