I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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