She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
