he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
