Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
