I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
God, I missed his penis.
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