Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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