PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
