i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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