She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
