I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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