chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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