I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
