Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
