butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
