why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
