Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
