Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
