Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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