then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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