Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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