walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
