Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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