you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize