i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
