I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Randomize
