never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
