New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize