I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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