Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
send nudes
from the living room?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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