3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Randomize
