Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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