so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
