We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
