omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
